Just a few short years ago, my heart was not turned to my Heavenly Father or my children. I loved my daughters, Abbe and Bryn, and I did my best to raise them. However, unresolved  childhood trauma, my own father issues, and living under the consequences of my own sin did not exactly make me father of the year.

A father’s role is to instill identity and vision in a safe environment. I failed on all three accounts. I could not impart identity because my identity was not established. I was not operating as a son of God and didn’t know God as my Father. In short, I couldn’t give what I didn’t have.

I was rebellious and selfish, and largely checked out. Honestly, I thought of myself as a good person with a healthy dose of self-righteousness. I called myself a Christian, though the life I lived was according to my own standard, not Jesus’. The result was two failed marriages with the third failed marriage soon to come and both my daughters trapped in a destructive cycle of addiction.

By God’s grace, in 2016, things started to change. I made Jesus Lord of my life, began to read the Bible, and prayed daily. I began to take care of my heart and discovered the power of inner healing. I learned about generational curses and iniquities, discovering that the ungodly alliances in my life and the breaking of the covenant of marriage had compromised the hedge of protection around my children and provided a legal basis for darkness to invade.

I engaged in deliverance and began to dissolve my ungodly beliefs by the truth of the word of God. I learned about the power of parental blessings and the role of a godly father. I began to make God my number one priority, followed by my family, work, church then friendships.

Transformation was not instant; however, a new journey with the Lord began. As a father, taking care of my heart was necessary in order for healing to come to my family. This process led to the writing of two books (currently being prepared for publication) vulnerably sharing the details of my life story. My journey into a deeper relationship with God has led me to a new life of freedom and peace in the Holy Spirit that I couldn’t believe was possible, ultimately revealing that before I could be established as a father, I needed to be established as a son.

We are made in the image of a triune God, and we are body, soul, and spirit. Thus, the importance of desiring to have our soul whole and healed is of utmost importance.

My identity in Christ and what the Father says about me overrides the lies of the enemy that kept me from walking boldly with the Holy Spirit. Liberty comes from exposing the darkness within to the light of THE Truth which destroys shame from the past with grace, forgiveness, and redemption.

In the next blog, I will get into the details of Malachi 4:6 but, today, I wanted to set the stage for my life as a father.